“Can I retire?” Gonna check on it!

 Can anyone really afford to retire?  Can we afford not to retire?

When it’s time, it’s time.  I don’t want to be like Miss Eppie Gardner, one of my mother’s teachers, who sat in the wastepaper basket. 

She had the habit of lecturing or teaching (?) from the desk top.  She would hitch up the right leg and hip and perch on the edge of the teacher desk.  One day, after many years of doing that same thing, day after day, she hitched up, hiked up, lifted, and sat.  But she did not sit on the desk.  She missed and sat in the trashcan!

My cousin and I vowed that if either of us were periously close to that point, we’d be kind enough to tell the other.  My cousin took early retirement and has not regretted a moment of it.  She is living on the lake…has refurbished her house there and, while she has considerably less money, she has a whole lot more peace and happiness.

She was great at her job.  The people did not want her to retire.  But, she knew the time was right and so, she just did it. Single, she is on her own, but has a family of close friends.

Now, it’s my turn to consider retirement. 

Card Carrying Normal Girl

     On a small blue card that I have taped to the inside of a credenza on which my computer sits at work is this word - NORMAL.  That refers to my CA-125 blood test.

     For those of you who are innocent readers and naive to the language of cancer and ovarian cancer, the CA-125 is a test which seeks to find ‘markers’ called ‘tumor markers.’  Normal is anything below 35.  Ladies, you’re not going to have a zero, probably, but the highest number ever recorded in Memphis at the time belongs to me - over 1000 - unbelievable. 

      The number on the card taped inside the door is “6.”  Anything below 10 might as well be a zero.  My current marker is “7.”  I have a card that says, I AM NORMAL. 

      Within the same week, I got a card in the mail related to my PAP Test.  That, too, indicated I am “within NORMAL limits.”  For women, we will take that report any day.  As a bonus, I got the Mammogram report that says “NORMAL.”

      Girls - I have always wanted to be known as Normal.  I always thought I was just a regular, normal girl.  But, beginning in 1994, my life became anything but Normal.  I am so very grateful to God, to the doctors and nurses, to my friends and family for seeing me to the point in the journey where CT Scans and XRays are not ordered anymore. The doctors are going to continue to check on me with my female exams and blood tests, but unless there is some weird thing going on with my body, I am “set free.”

I hope to give you all encouragement.  Whatever it takes, you can dig deep and you can survive.  You can do it!

SSsshhhh! Don’t Tell!

My Secret Suburb:  Shhhh!  Don’t tell!!

Crawl into my mind and struggle with me to resolve the question regarding retirement.

Here are my Top Ten regarding Concerns for Retirement:

1. Peace
2. Family and Friends close by
3. Inexpensive cost of living
4. Low debt or no debt possible; modern home
5. Health care within easy drive
6. Shopping within easy drive
7. Entertainment within easy drive
8. Home base for exploring and visiting
9. Access to professional opportunity; continuing mental stimulation
10. Not trapped in the movie Deliverance

Let’s start at the bottom of the list,

#10 – Not in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere, no banjo music allowed.  That rules out quite a number of places.  However, secrets cities are all over the South.  These hidden jewels are as you remember them in your own growing up years in the 1950s-1960s, but with the modern conveniences of Cable, cell phone reception, electricity and running water.  On the other hand, prescription home delivery, neighbors who wave and speak, and communities centered on the local churches and school exist.

#9  - With the cell phone, professional opportunity is within reach at all times. Travel within a radius of 30-50 miles would allow access to public and private school systems, universities, and community colleges.  Via the internet are opportunities for writing, and publishing possibilities might surface with local, small-town newspapers.  Libraries, bookstores, and philanthropic opportunities would keep us as busy as we’d want to be.

#8 – Some people can travel for extended periods of time.  A 7 day trip is enough before we want our own bed, our own shower, our own home.  So, as long as there are Interstate Highways and Airports around, we’ll be just fine.

#7 – Movie Rental places?  Are there churches with Sunday School Classes and Senior Citizen Activity Groups?  Are there local travel groups?  Within a short drive, can we have access to plenty of entertainment?  Active retirement does not mean mountain climbing and high-risk white-water rafting, so entertainment has a more subtle meaning to us.

#6 –As along as we have a good car, shopping trips become adventures for the day and lots of fun.  Department stores  - check.  Grocery stores – check.  Dollar stores – check.  Wal-Mart – check. 

#5 –Dial 911?  The ambulance will arrive and will be able to find us.  A regional hospital within 30 minutes – that is a must. If something critical is afoot, a large medical center would be the choice, and available. Doctor’s appointments – local is ok, but the city doctors are best and if a day trip or weekend in the city is needed, count it as entertainment and medical appointments. (2 for 1 = not bad)

#4 – Having a home that might easily be paid for would be huge in retirement planning.  The fewer the expenses, the better.  We are hoping to find a home we could buy, update, and get into with little or no debt.

#3 – Cost of living – no high taxes usually means few services.  Within a 20 mile radius is all you would need.  In a big city, you’d drive 20 minutes to get where you wanted to be anyway.  Just think of it as living in a secret suburb.

#2 – How wise to choose a steep learning curve, getting to know a whole new community where no familiarity exists?  Friends we can make, but when it comes time to be checked on, it’s time for family.

#1 – When crime takes over, it’s time to choose another city.  When corruption is in every area of government and education, it is time to go, if you can.  When you listen to quiet –that is good.  When you look around, and people are simply living and loving without drama all the time – that, too, is good.  When you have earned your living and have achieved all you can in your career, when it is time for the next generation to take over in your profession, it is time to relax and enjoy the fruits, however small they may be.

Do you think the place to which I have alluded actually exists?  Respond if you will.

A Magnifying Glass and Barbie’s Butt

A Magnifying Glass and Barbie’s Butt

Yes, I am guilty.  But - (no pun intended), so is my girlfriend, who mentioned that she still had her Barbie <a href= http://vintagebarbie.com > </a> from childhood.

How that conversation came up, I do not know, except that several of my compatriots were into collecting Blue Ridge China <a href= http://www.blueridgechina.com > </a>, Fiesta Dinnerware <a href= http://www.fiesta.com > </a> , Beatrix Potter figurines, and everything else under the sun.  I did not have anything to collect, so felt a bit out of the group.

I began to collect the ugliest pottery on the face of the earth – Camark Pottery <a href= http://www.camarkpottery.com” > </a>, because of its manufacturing spot in the low-country of Arkansas, the region of my birth.  I also noted in the Antiques and Collectible section of the local bookstores, there were collecting books on none other than Barbie.

Note the singular form of the noun Barbie.  Girls did not have multiple ‘Barbies’ but one and only one Barbie, the star of the show.

I digress in my story of discovery.

I called my mother and asked if my Barbie and all the clothes were still packed away in her attic.  Indeed they were, so on my next trip to visit the parents, I picked up Barbie.  She had to ride with me because there was no Barbie car or Barbie plane or other Barbie transportation.  Also, there is no Ken or Midge or Skipper or Alan, no one else – just Barbie.

Upon my return home, I called the aforementioned friend and she rushed over that Sunday night (yes, she did) with her Barbie. She was young enough to also have a Midge and Skipper; she still, though, had in her hand, her original Barbie as she came through the back door.  She also brought along a Barbie Collectible book.  Not the one with all the reproductions, but the one for Vintage Barbie. Snobs that we are – it’s Vintage or nothing.

We read and read, looked at pictures with critical discernment and got more thrilled and excited by the paragraph.

That explains why when my high school age son came home and walked into the kitchen, he beheld two grown women standing under the kitchen light head to head with a magnifying glass, peering closely with furrowed brow, examining in close detail Barbie’s butt.

“Let me go out and come in again,” he said in disbelief.  “What are you doing?” – emphasis on “Are.” 

Explaining that the markings on the but-tocks (ala Forrest Gump) could get him a sizeable inheritance or a nice trip somewhere changed his disrespect to awe.

“Really????  Let me see!”  Now, I do so wish I was the one with the camera.

We all were astounded.  Barbie #2 is what I have.  My friend has Barbie #4 or #5…more current than mine.  It seems that #1 lasted a while and then #2 came out.  Dear Barbie #2 did not last long and was replaced almost immediately with #3; thus, #2 is quite rare.  Hmmmm.  Do I hear a drum roll?  I have #2.  I don’t think my hometown got #1 of anything, actually.

I also have her outfits:  the classics and the TM label (which makes them worth more.)

I will write more on this adventure later, but want to tell you this:  the quest for Vintage Barbie saved my sanity while I was enduring chemotherapy for ovarian cancer.  The trip to a Barbie Show in St. Louis was like nothing I’ll ever experience again.  And, my travel buddies and I returned to Pensacola, FL, because we had seen Fluff.  I did not know at the time, but soon discovered, that Fluff is one of the later Barbie’s animals.  Remember when she had a Pony and a Dog?  She also had a Cat – Fluff which also came with a kennel/”cat house!”           

When we got back to the condo in Gulf Shores, AL, I continued pouring over the collector’s Bible of Barbie and found that, “Oh, My Stars!!! Fluff is RARE!  We have to go back and get Fluff.  We can’t leave Fluff in Pensacola!  He’s rare!”  So, the next morning, before any other adventure could take place, we drove back to Pensacola for Fluff.  Yes, I still have him.

 I also have all my dear friends who would do anything to create for me a diversion from the horrors surrounding chemotherapy, and years of it.

So, hats off to Barbie.

I’ll tell you more Barbie stories later….but speaking of Cats – I also have a Camark Cat, also valuable and rare.  And a story to go along with it.

EBay or Craig’s List, here I come!

“The Girls”

“The Girls”

            The dream of an intact family vanished.  The children have moved forward, though they are changed forever.  When a child of whatever age believes he is a part of a secure and loving, two-parent home and when that child wakes up the next morning to discover he is wrong, that child is forever changed.  When a dream is lost, what can be gained?           

God can take loss and turns it into gain.  God can take down and flip it up.  God can move minus into plus. God was at work changing my life before I knew it.  God dissolved my pain and gave me a future.  God removed my misplaced trust and offered me self-worth.  God calmed my fear and bestowed His peace.           

What good can come from a lost dream, lost intimacy, a lost marriage?  Hang on to your belief system, because God can turn anything into good for those who love him.  I further encourage you to walk through open doors, and reconnect with your girlfriends.  Unlike men, we girls thrive on friendships and there is nothing, no relationship more special that that between “sisters.”  We are always there for each other.  Find your resting place and take comfort with “the girls.”

Social Life – to encourage a newly divorced diva 

Book Clubs <a href:http://www.bookclub.com > </a>                Bunco Clubs         Bridge Clubs               Girls Night Out activities                       

Invest in a bedside reading lamp.  Pour yourself a cup of hot chocolate or a glass of wine.  Plump up the multitude of pillows you can now strew across your bedding.  Lean back, sip, read, and enjoy the peace, quiet, and solitude.           

Consider these selections:                       

Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love - Brown <a href:http://www.sweetpotatoqueens.com > </a>                           

Same Sweet Girls- King 

Secret Life of Bees- Kidd                                                         Memoirs of a Geisha - Golden                                            Someone to Watch Over Me – McNaught 

<a href: http://www.cassandraking.com > </a>

<a href: http://www.secretlifeofbees.com > </a>

Consider these authors:

Navada Barr  <a href: http://www.navadabarr.com > </a>              Janet Evanovich          James Patterson                                     Anita Shreve                Stuart Woods         Richard North Patterson Barbara Delinsky          Nora Roberts                                   Danielle Steele                       

Try these Classics:

Jane Austen -Pride and Prejudice,     Sense and Sensability,       Persuasion                                   

When a week or two pass, you might realize that you have control over the “puncher.”  You can decide when to change the channel and what program to watch on television.            

After a while, you can actually throw your leg over a little bit and claim an entire bed.  Why do you think the mattress is “Queen-size?”After about six months, you can clean out the chest of drawers.  Get a good size, black, heavy-duty garbage bag and have a wonderful day.  Speak to each item as you toss it into the trash. Lay claim to more space for your sexy and colorful lingerie.           

After a year or so, you can clean out clothes and shoes. It’s time to have a party and celebrate with “Hers and Hers” closets.            After a number of years, the pain, however great, diminishes.  The stark reality of the divorce does not change, but clarity of focus and eyes of truth open.  Remember that God has plans for good.

“The New Reality”

 “The New Reality” 

In March of 2000, he took out a loan and took me to the cleaners.And, he moved out. He left the marriage, the mortgage, a leaking hot water heater, an overgrown back yard, crumbling shutters, all the past-due bills, and a depleted bank account.   The new reality he professed is that “he gave me everything.”

Too long in denial, it took until January of 2001, actually on my birthday, before I filed for divorce.  It took that entire year before I gave up the senseless struggle and I filed for divorce.  The painful legal and spiritual process of ripping and tearing apart a thirty-year marriage leaves deep wounds and gaping holes where hope and trust and love had been.

When two people become one flesh, there is no clean, surgical incision that can separate the two people involved.  When the covenant of marriage is broken, when intimacy is lost, none of the individuals will ever breathe in quite the same way.In February of 2002, it was final.

Food Tip:

Though you do not want to eat your way into another dress size, there are some delicious comfort foods available.

Divorce Foods – Liquor, Death, and Worms to cheer a newly divorced diva

Amaretto Cheese Cake         

Recipe:  Go to SAM’S and buy a Cheesecake. Go to your favorite liquor store and buy a small (or large)bottle of Amaretto.  Either eat a bite of cheesecake and take a drink of Amaretto on the Rocks, OR Prick (no pun intended) little holes into the cheesecake and pour Amaretto over   the cheesecake so that it dribbles into the cake.                              ENJOY!

Death by Chocolate

            Recipe:  Make your best and gooiest Brownie recipe and prick holes.     Measure 1/4 cup Kahlua    (or flavoring) and pour it into pricked holes you’ve made in the Brownies.   Prepare according to package directions 1 pkg JELLO Chocolate Mousse.Open a container of Cool Whip (8 oz)Chop up pecans (1/2 cup of chopped nuts)Crush 3 Heath bars.Alternately layer the Brownies, Mousse, Cool Whip, Pecans and Heath BarsFinish off with dollops of Cool Whip and Crushed Heath Bar.Call all your friends to come over and enjoy with you OR Eat it all yourself, preparing to call 911.                         

Worms in Dirt

Recipe:      Buy a nice size plastic flower pot.  Line it with aluminum foil first and then cling-wrap. 1       3 oz. pkg. Cream Cheese2       pkgs. Vanilla Instant Pudding 1          12 oz. carton Cool Whip1              stick butter (margarine)         31/2 cups Milk       1   pkg Oreo Cookies           Prepare the Vanilla Instant Pudding using the Milk.   Mix together the butter, cream cheese and 3/4 pkg Oreo Cookies.          Layer Cookie Mixture/Pudding Mixture.       Crumble the rest of the Oreo Cookies and put on the top.           BUY SOME WORMS – Gummie Worms, that is.    Bury the worms randomly in the Top Layer of Dirt.      Place a pretty Gerber Daisy or other cheerful flower into the Flower Pot.     Bite the heads off the worms or chop them into little pieces with a cleaver.     Whatever is your pleasure, do it.      You could also put these worms into the garbage disposal and turn it on with some crunchy ice cubes!

Next:  “The Girls”

“Puppy Love”

“Puppy Love” 

Earlier in this story, I shared the struggle of coping with a horrible, life-threatening cancer. Because of fantastic and professional treatment with phenomenal oncologists at a well-known regional cancer clinic, <a href=http://www.westclinic.com > cancer clinic </a> I am still alive and at that time I was in a tremendous fight for my very life.  For my husband, it would have been easier had I died. No, not at the time and that is rather melodramatic, but it’s what I felt at times. 

I am not saying that as an overly dramatic sentiment.  Truly, it would have been easier for him.  He would have been set free much earlier.  Then, he could have taken my children to be raised by relatives, and he would have a reason everyone understood to be without a wife.  He would have received sympathetic assistance and been elevated to martyrdom.  At one time, I recall telling him that I was sorry I had inconvenienced him so greatly by living!

As a true Gift from God, I underwent a rare second surgery and in September of 1999, life was looking good.  In fact, the loyal-in-name-only husband told me that when I left the treatment center with a wonderful outlook and a miraculous report of “all clear,” it was the happiest day of his life.  I thought it was because we could start our life again with good health all around. 

Again, I was wrong.  He was happy because he was planning now to leave me.  Now, without my knowledge at all, he began stealing money from our joint checking account and depositing it into an account of his own.

In January of 2000, he gave me a puppy <a href=http://www.maltese.com > dog </a> and never slept in my bed again.  Two months later, he uttered the fateful words, “I have an apartment.”

HERE IS A SLEEP TIP:

If your bed seems empty without him, DO NOT RUSH to invite another man into his place.  Instead RUSH to the Linen Sales!

Sleep Aids – to comfort a newly divorced diva

My dear, dear friend, go shopping and indulge in 400+ count sheets.  Shop the clearance racks and bins.  Check out the Clearance Sales at discount variety stores.  Go to Outlet Malls.  <a href=http://www.oprymills.com > outlet mall </a> Don’t shy away from oversized sheets and pillow cases if they are ON SALE.  You can also get ODD colors and then Mix and Match.  Actually, better pricing comes with different colors and mixing colors is much more fun.  Just remember, these linens WILL NOT BE RUINED by unshaven stubble, hairy legs, stinky feet, or other man-smells!

 There is more, much more, so please check back tomorrow.

“You Ignorant Slut”

“You Ignorant Slut”             Chevy Chase’s words to Jane Curtain wrap up the feelings I have about my lack of perception about my marriage.  The three words were often spoken after a segment on SNL when poor Jane was going on and on about certain factual situations and ole Chevy was just off camera mocking her with tongue-wagging, eye-rolling condescension.  “Ignorant” is exactly what I felt. <a href=http://www.saturdaynightlive.com > television show </a> I was/am not/never will be, however, a “slut.”   

Looking back on the actions of a wayward husband brings plenty of pain.  I was the one in the marriage who “hopes all things, believes all things, bears all things.”  Imagine these scenarios:  

1.  Receiving phone calls at 2 AM to ask if I know my husband’s whereabouts,

2.  Spending an anniversary night alone, trying to reach him by phone after midnight,

3.  Finding him anywhere but at work, after phone calls to reach him, 4.  Locating him at 2 AM in a bar

5.  Hearing a father’s refusal to leave the bar.

6.  Fielding calls from bill collectors, 

7.  Telling the children cover stories for the sake of their father,

8.  Explaining away his absence for holiday afternoons, 

The list of humiliations was unfathomable.

Gentle reader, you may ask why a woman would continuously accept this kind of behavior from her husband.  I simply believed he was the man I married and he would eventually move out of this behavior, not move out of our home. 

I was totally wrong.The abrupt departure should not have been a total surprise.  He had actually emotionally left the marriage years before he physically left the house.  

I had been seeing a psychologist who in our conversations heard some of my pain and asked me if my husband and I were considering divorce.  I said, “Oh, no.  We love each other.”  He told me then that many couples who love each other get divorced.  I had shared that my husband was going to be attending a conference in Phoenix <a href=http://www.phoenix.com > city </a> and that I really wanted to go with him.  We had not had a trip together in such a long time, and I hoped to rekindle some of the fires that had become, in my estimation, only embers. I actually believed the fires could be fanned to flame again. Or, at least, I was willing to try.  The counselor told me to pay my own way to Phoenix so that I could show him how much I wanted to be with him, so that we could have a romantic get-away, just for ourselves. That way, he could not say that it was too expensive for me to go. I would have done anything to show him my devotion.  When I made the proposal, proposition if you will, he folded his hands as I sat in front of him and said, “No.  Do not buy a ticket.  I do not want you to go.” 

 My marriage was over.  I just did not want to accept the cold reality.  The fire had been extinguished long ago; the ashes lay cold and gray.

Next:  Puppy Love

“The Airlines Did Not Lose My Baggage”

  “The Airlines Did Not Lose My Baggage” 

“I have an apartment.” 

You have a what????

“I have an apartment.  I am moving out.”   

The afternoon was Friday.  We had just met with a financial planner to obtain a loan to pay off some debt that I believed we jointly had accumulated. He said he was taking the loan himself, but I needed to be there since we were a married couple. Vividly, I remember sitting at the table with the loan papers in front of me answering questions about our marital status.  Vividly, I recall our answers.  We are married.  Actually, relations had been so strained that I was hoping his answers revealed that he wanted an improved relationship, as I had begged him to seek either medical attention or a psychologist.  I did not know, nor did I want to know, what a pawn I was.

Friday evening I went out to dinner and then over to a girl friend’s house for dessert.  Several of my girl friends and I were celebrating “spring break” and the beginning of some breathing room from our jobs in a school.  We were light hearted and having a wonderful time with stories and jokes and plans for “tomorrow.”  On the drive home, I was as unaware as I could possibly be for what lay in wait behind the bedroom door.I walked into the den and the three of us- father, mother, and child -visited for a while and then I went on to the bedroom to get ready for bed. 

Friday nights were routinely very relaxing and I was looking forward to a warm bath, my nightclothes, a Diet Coke, sleeping late on Saturday, and a wonderful week of total relaxation.  The older son was away at college and the younger son was also beginning his Spring Break.  Nothing, absolutely nothing clued me in for the bomb that was about to explode in my face.

My husband walked into the bedroom, casually over to his side of the bed, sat down, propped up and lay back on the pillows.  I was in bed, also propped up, about to turn on the television and pull out some new fashion magazines.  I knew that trouble existed in the marriage, which by now was closer to hell on earth than any part of paradise, but with every tiny nuance of normalcy, I gained some degree of hope. 

When I look back at the excuses I made for each insulting behavior, I wonder how much self-esteem I actually possessed at that time.  When I look back, I wonder why I wanted the marriage to be saved; the only reason worth thinking about was “for the children.”  In retrospect, the marriage we shared was no longer one of love but one of obligation and duty.            

 Here is a tip:  If your husband is lying, staying in another bedroomso he won’t disturb me because he has insomnia, experimenting with questionable and dangerous web sites, and staying away from home as much as possible, summons enough gumption to call his hand on the behaviors.  I was wrapped up in a marriage I wanted to save and in a family I believed was worth every insulting behavior I could bear. <a href=http://www.divorce.com >infidelity </a>   

That evening, I guess from the lines of a rehearsed speech, he began with reminding me how I had begged him to see a counselor.  Further, he reminded me that we had both become miserable in the marriage.  The difference between us was that I believed it was a phase, a cycle that all marriages must endure in order to survive.  He saw it differently.  So, while I am thinking that this conversation is headed in a positive direction, he is about to utter a statement I thought I would never hear, not ever in my entire life.           

 “I have an apartment.”  With that statement, my entire life, our entire family changed.  Everything dissolved before me.  My head spun, my heart raced, my ears rang, and my vision blurred. Since I existed on humiliation anyway, what is one more dagger to the heart if it could save our family.   I begged him to stay, to reconsider, to change his mind.  Nothing I could do or say would keep him from moving out the next morning.  Even when I went to the bed he was sleeping in and crawled in beside him and tried all my feminine wiles including tears to convince him to do otherwise, there was no response except for him to say, “I am moving out.”  Even as I stood in the kitchen and wrapped my arms around him and kissed him soundly, there was only this repetitive remark: “I am moving out.”          

  I asked him if there was another woman.  He said, “You know there is not.  I just can not tolerate being married any more.”

Next:  You Ignorant Slut

“You Have to Go to the Mattresses”

“You have to go to the mattresses” In the cute movie “You’ve Got Mail,” Meg Ryan’s character is confiding to Tom Hanks’ character about the struggle she is experiencing with the possible closure of her family bookstore.  As you no doubt recall, Tom Hanks’ character replies to Meg Ryan’s character that she must “go to the mattresses,” a line from the movie, “The Godfather.”  Whatever it takes, pull out all the big dogs, and wrestle the devil if necessary.  He further states that “it is not personal.”  She must however hold nothing back.  She must fight for herself and for what she wants. <a href=http://www.youvegotmail.com > movie </a> I want my life and a future.  Therefore, I fight hard. 

I use all kinds of weapons including food, diversion, work, play, and above all else, prayer.  Included here are some “tips” to help in the fight: 

BREAKFAST FOODS are good all day long.

PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS help settle the stomach. 

Peppermint candies- keep them with youPeppermint sticks – to remove the metallic taste, to cool and soothe the mouth, and to settle the stomach. 

SERVE EVERYTHING VERY COLD or VERY HOT.

SERVE EVERYTHING WITH SPICES.  If the meal is bland, the taste is metallic or aluminum. 

KEEP SOMETHING ON YOUR STOMACH AT ALL TIMES. 

USE PLASTIC UTENSILS            

Believing in the healing power of God, I pursued my treatment like a woman possessed.  I continued to work, continued to be a mom and a wife.  I went to work after chemotherapy treatments.  I climbed the stairs, pulling my body up and up, step by step.  I would not give in or give up.  I suffered the ravages of chemotherapy as everyone does, but by pure will and bull-headed determination, I refused to give into the grip or the look of death. 

Denial and diversion became important elements in my recovery plan. When it was time for treatments, I got into the “treatment box.”  While there, I endured.  When it was over, I got out of the “box” and lived as close to a normal life as I possibly could.  I was consumed with reading Antiques and Collectible Books.  I became obsessed with Vintage Barbie and her outfits <a href= http://www.vintagebarbie.com > collectibles</a>.

 I also believe that God intervenes for His own purpose, whatever that might be.I took prescription drugs to decrease nausea and improve my sense of well-being. The side-effects included “increased appetite.” As a result, I ate everything in sight.  Driving home from work, I was often allured by the aroma of Memphis bar-b-que or fresh baked cookies, cakes and dozens of donuts.  I would detour and devour a sandwich or a dessert, driving around neighborhoods, gobbling grub like a starved dog. My cravings were never actually satisfied by the amount of food intake, but my ability to withstand rounds of chemotherapy improved. 

In losing my stomach muscles and my bikini figure, I gained cleavage.  Perhaps that’s not such a bad trade off.  Anything seasoned with excessive amounts of sugar, salt, onions, and spices tasted delicious.  Everything bland tasted of aluminum or worse.  Included below are some of the best dishes for satisfying the appetite, cutting the metallic taste of just about everything else, and giving the body the nutrients it craves.

 KICKIN CHICKIN VEGETABLE SOUP:

1 can each:      chicken broth              V-8 juice (secret ingredient!)         chopped tomato bits   tomato, onion, peppers                 shoe peg corn     cut green beans                        tiny baby peas            sliced carrots    sliced potatoes                        chicken pieces                        LOTS of salt and pepper and Cavender’s Seasoning             Bring to boil and then simmer for 2 hours. 

BROCOLLI CHEESE SOUP:           

3 cans Cream of Mushroom Soup            3 cups of Milk              Mix and then add   1 roll of garlic cheese           Simmer and then add   2        pkgs chopped brocolli (prepared)                                Lots of salt and pepper      Keep warm.                                    Serve with butter/Waverly/saltine crackers.       

HOT CHICKEN SALAD

 2 cups diced chicken               1 can cream of chicken soup           1 cup finely diced celery                     2 Tbs minced onion             1/2 cup lightly toasted slivered almonds                                        1/2 cup mayonnaise                 1/2 tsp each salt and pepper          2        Tbs lemon juice                 3 hard boiled eggs – sliced     Mix All Together       Top with potato chips and grated cheddar cheese Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes in 13×9 casserole dish  

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