“The New Reality”

 “The New Reality” 

In March of 2000, he took out a loan and took me to the cleaners.And, he moved out. He left the marriage, the mortgage, a leaking hot water heater, an overgrown back yard, crumbling shutters, all the past-due bills, and a depleted bank account.   The new reality he professed is that “he gave me everything.”

Too long in denial, it took until January of 2001, actually on my birthday, before I filed for divorce.  It took that entire year before I gave up the senseless struggle and I filed for divorce.  The painful legal and spiritual process of ripping and tearing apart a thirty-year marriage leaves deep wounds and gaping holes where hope and trust and love had been.

When two people become one flesh, there is no clean, surgical incision that can separate the two people involved.  When the covenant of marriage is broken, when intimacy is lost, none of the individuals will ever breathe in quite the same way.In February of 2002, it was final.

Food Tip:

Though you do not want to eat your way into another dress size, there are some delicious comfort foods available.

Divorce Foods – Liquor, Death, and Worms to cheer a newly divorced diva

Amaretto Cheese Cake         

Recipe:  Go to SAM’S and buy a Cheesecake. Go to your favorite liquor store and buy a small (or large)bottle of Amaretto.  Either eat a bite of cheesecake and take a drink of Amaretto on the Rocks, OR Prick (no pun intended) little holes into the cheesecake and pour Amaretto over   the cheesecake so that it dribbles into the cake.                              ENJOY!

Death by Chocolate

            Recipe:  Make your best and gooiest Brownie recipe and prick holes.     Measure 1/4 cup Kahlua    (or flavoring) and pour it into pricked holes you’ve made in the Brownies.   Prepare according to package directions 1 pkg JELLO Chocolate Mousse.Open a container of Cool Whip (8 oz)Chop up pecans (1/2 cup of chopped nuts)Crush 3 Heath bars.Alternately layer the Brownies, Mousse, Cool Whip, Pecans and Heath BarsFinish off with dollops of Cool Whip and Crushed Heath Bar.Call all your friends to come over and enjoy with you OR Eat it all yourself, preparing to call 911.                         

Worms in Dirt

Recipe:      Buy a nice size plastic flower pot.  Line it with aluminum foil first and then cling-wrap. 1       3 oz. pkg. Cream Cheese2       pkgs. Vanilla Instant Pudding 1          12 oz. carton Cool Whip1              stick butter (margarine)         31/2 cups Milk       1   pkg Oreo Cookies           Prepare the Vanilla Instant Pudding using the Milk.   Mix together the butter, cream cheese and 3/4 pkg Oreo Cookies.          Layer Cookie Mixture/Pudding Mixture.       Crumble the rest of the Oreo Cookies and put on the top.           BUY SOME WORMS – Gummie Worms, that is.    Bury the worms randomly in the Top Layer of Dirt.      Place a pretty Gerber Daisy or other cheerful flower into the Flower Pot.     Bite the heads off the worms or chop them into little pieces with a cleaver.     Whatever is your pleasure, do it.      You could also put these worms into the garbage disposal and turn it on with some crunchy ice cubes!

Next:  “The Girls”

“You Have to Go to the Mattresses”

“You have to go to the mattresses” In the cute movie “You’ve Got Mail,” Meg Ryan’s character is confiding to Tom Hanks’ character about the struggle she is experiencing with the possible closure of her family bookstore.  As you no doubt recall, Tom Hanks’ character replies to Meg Ryan’s character that she must “go to the mattresses,” a line from the movie, “The Godfather.”  Whatever it takes, pull out all the big dogs, and wrestle the devil if necessary.  He further states that “it is not personal.”  She must however hold nothing back.  She must fight for herself and for what she wants. <a href=http://www.youvegotmail.com > movie </a> I want my life and a future.  Therefore, I fight hard. 

I use all kinds of weapons including food, diversion, work, play, and above all else, prayer.  Included here are some “tips” to help in the fight: 

BREAKFAST FOODS are good all day long.

PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS help settle the stomach. 

Peppermint candies- keep them with youPeppermint sticks – to remove the metallic taste, to cool and soothe the mouth, and to settle the stomach. 

SERVE EVERYTHING VERY COLD or VERY HOT.

SERVE EVERYTHING WITH SPICES.  If the meal is bland, the taste is metallic or aluminum. 

KEEP SOMETHING ON YOUR STOMACH AT ALL TIMES. 

USE PLASTIC UTENSILS            

Believing in the healing power of God, I pursued my treatment like a woman possessed.  I continued to work, continued to be a mom and a wife.  I went to work after chemotherapy treatments.  I climbed the stairs, pulling my body up and up, step by step.  I would not give in or give up.  I suffered the ravages of chemotherapy as everyone does, but by pure will and bull-headed determination, I refused to give into the grip or the look of death. 

Denial and diversion became important elements in my recovery plan. When it was time for treatments, I got into the “treatment box.”  While there, I endured.  When it was over, I got out of the “box” and lived as close to a normal life as I possibly could.  I was consumed with reading Antiques and Collectible Books.  I became obsessed with Vintage Barbie and her outfits <a href= http://www.vintagebarbie.com > collectibles</a>.

 I also believe that God intervenes for His own purpose, whatever that might be.I took prescription drugs to decrease nausea and improve my sense of well-being. The side-effects included “increased appetite.” As a result, I ate everything in sight.  Driving home from work, I was often allured by the aroma of Memphis bar-b-que or fresh baked cookies, cakes and dozens of donuts.  I would detour and devour a sandwich or a dessert, driving around neighborhoods, gobbling grub like a starved dog. My cravings were never actually satisfied by the amount of food intake, but my ability to withstand rounds of chemotherapy improved. 

In losing my stomach muscles and my bikini figure, I gained cleavage.  Perhaps that’s not such a bad trade off.  Anything seasoned with excessive amounts of sugar, salt, onions, and spices tasted delicious.  Everything bland tasted of aluminum or worse.  Included below are some of the best dishes for satisfying the appetite, cutting the metallic taste of just about everything else, and giving the body the nutrients it craves.

 KICKIN CHICKIN VEGETABLE SOUP:

1 can each:      chicken broth              V-8 juice (secret ingredient!)         chopped tomato bits   tomato, onion, peppers                 shoe peg corn     cut green beans                        tiny baby peas            sliced carrots    sliced potatoes                        chicken pieces                        LOTS of salt and pepper and Cavender’s Seasoning             Bring to boil and then simmer for 2 hours. 

BROCOLLI CHEESE SOUP:           

3 cans Cream of Mushroom Soup            3 cups of Milk              Mix and then add   1 roll of garlic cheese           Simmer and then add   2        pkgs chopped brocolli (prepared)                                Lots of salt and pepper      Keep warm.                                    Serve with butter/Waverly/saltine crackers.       

HOT CHICKEN SALAD

 2 cups diced chicken               1 can cream of chicken soup           1 cup finely diced celery                     2 Tbs minced onion             1/2 cup lightly toasted slivered almonds                                        1/2 cup mayonnaise                 1/2 tsp each salt and pepper          2        Tbs lemon juice                 3 hard boiled eggs – sliced     Mix All Together       Top with potato chips and grated cheddar cheese Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes in 13×9 casserole dish  

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